Sometimes an author gets the last laugh.

Editors are much maligned here and really everywhere.  Not that I’m whining. I’d malign me, too, if I weren’t me. We are in the untenable position of being stuck between authors and their audience, two groups that—while they like each other—just can’t seem to communicate very well.

Recently, under deadline, I undervalued the hard work authors put into their manuscripts. To speed things up and to encourage one of my authors to write a manuscript over the weekend, I said (listen for the head slap), “Just give me something. I’ll dress it up.”

Taking me at my word, my author sent me this manuscript this morning:

Multiple defenestrations through the same window require a window which operates easily. Struggling to raise the window while maintaining control of the fearful child is frustrating.  So, too, the discomfiture arising from the aesthetic deficiency existing in a house with mixed window styles. Double this discomfiture when the know it all neighbor gives her two-unwelcomed-cents. Whatever the impetus there are several rules to follow when replacing a window. Ephemeral complexity cloaks windows unnecessarily. Windows are made up of numerous discrete details which seem complex but with a bit management maintain blissful simplicity. Management begins with language. Make sure that the window supplier’s language is fully grasped. Take the time to understand a window’s components and which of those components will belong in your window’s architecture. Also verify that the way you have dimensioned the window and it’s opening and the window that fits in that opening is how the manufacturer has dimensioned said window. Assume at every turn that the window supplier speaks a foreign language which must be translated to your own language and then back again. Once the window is ordered any discrepancies between the mutual languages will be paid for in your national currency.
Upon arrival extract the window from its sarcophagus like crate and determine whether the sum total of errors in the window is worth the agony of having to wait the six weeks for the window company to turn a new window around. Once the bile has settled and a plan for modifying the window in place the installation can begin. Know that remodeling is a guess, educated to a degree but lacking certainty since bygone eras possessed shameless hacks, same as this one. So don’t be surprised when with the old window removed the revealed framing might not be reassuring. And it is a struggle between the historical fact that the house and its window have existed for 100 years and the logical intuition that the bit of framing over and under the new, expensive, window shouldn’t be able to support a loaf of bread, let alone a house. As these two heavyweights go three rounds in your head don’t be afraid to let the referee call the fight one way or another. Money will judge it fairly. The winner may not be the craftsman but will at least cover the spread.
With the opening prepped install the new window. Plumb. shim, secure. Attempt to trim. Trim details will be supplied by the house or the homeowner or, god forbid, by an interior designer. If working on a job with an interior designer save one nail in the nail gun at all times for existential relief. I leave it up to the reader to decide whose existence will be relieved. Before the gun smokes, though, take a moment to admire your handy work.

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