So I found this recent article at Remodeling Online, comparing clients to insects. While I am just sharing the insect types here for the humor, the entire article is a worthwhile read, and I hope some of you find it beneficial:

http://www.remodeling.hw.net/pages/remodelingonline/Story.nsp?story_id=1000031862

Clients Bugging You?
A field guide to the most dangerous species.

By Joseph F. Schuler Jr..

The following field guide identifies species, habitats, food, characteristics, and warning signs. It collects survivors’ observations. It provides expert advice and suggests a few antidotes, should your repellent not work.

The Ambush Bug
Latin name: Boyarewegonna screwya
Description: This is the most dangerous client of all. It looks nondescript, yet its fore legs are adapted for seizing and holding prey. This is what psychologist and author Susan Edwards calls the pathological client — the serial litigator intent on “getting you.” It’s a species proud of past conflicts, says builder and consultant Tom Stephani of Crystal Lake, Ill. While normal clients run from demanding (but reasonable) to demanding (but unreasonable), the ambusher populates a third genus, the true Client From Hell. Can be “slick,” but also less obvious and calculating. Leaves litigation trail. Takes forms of other species listed.

The Assassin
Latin name: Tightus sphinctusmus
Description: Stephani, who has informally surveyed audiences for 10 years during his seminar, “Clients From Hell & How To Deal With Them,” says people like engineers, attorneys, doctors, pilots, and purchasing agents are prime examples of this species.

The Dynamite Bug
Latin name: Watchoutus boomerangus
Description: Notorious. Difficult to eradicate. Known, too, as “sleeping giants,” these people are demanding customers whose dissatisfaction surfaces only when something “sets them off.”

The Preying Mantis
Latin name: Mani norespectya
Description: Sanctimonious in posture and manner, this species bears no respect for tradesmen. They don’t pursue victims but instead lie in wait, then put them down with vicious, verbal behavior. “These people minimize what you do,” says Roger Howard of Joe Howard Construction in Denver. “It’s hard, then, for workmen and tradesmen to do a good job, no matter how hard they try. They know it’s not appreciated.”

The Maybemaybenot Ant
Latin name: Whimpa indecisiva
Description: While innocent-looking, this species defends itself by squirting a jet of indecision from its mouth. Stephani says these people typically take orders from others in their jobs and are never in an authority role. Thrust into the “boss” role on a remodel, they’re overwhelmed. A remodeler is sucked into their decision-making process (or lack thereof) and ends up swimming in the acid of confusion.

The Black Widow
Latin name: Singulara oldmaidus
Description: A spider isn’t an insect, but we make an exception for arachnids that eat their partners. The female species is most dangerous.

Less Dangerous Species

Expert Beetles
(Expertus knowitallius).
These clients try to establish control through “expertise.” They seek the bodies of remodelers and bury them with data, feeding on the decaying flesh of sweet deals and laying eggs on the body of proposals. They snack on Internet information. Paul Coates of Clearwood Custom Builders had one who red-lined his $330,000 proposal, showing how she could get better pricing than his 11 subs. “A definite control freak,” he says.

Pipe Dream Beetles
(Pieintheskiapus).
Watch out for bodily structures developed out of proportion to the rest of its body: This client’s eyes are bigger than his wallet.

Tunnel Vision Earwigs
(Myopia projectus).
Focusing on the project a little too much is the flaw of this species. Pincers help it hang on. If contracted, they can turn into ticks (see below).

Ticks
(Inyourharius).
This client burrows himself in — he’s constantly on site, bugging lead carpenters like mad. Contractors can limit a tick’s bite with tight contract language and should try to limit clients’ time on site with leads.

Spittle Bugs
(Blaberus spewmarius).
We all know these clients: They surround themselves with spittle, voided from their posterior end, as a form of protection. They talk so much about minor problems they overwhelm contractors.

Blind Flies
(Absolutus noclueius).
Beautifully prismed eyes fool remodelers. But these clients can’t really visualize anything. Roger Howard of Joe Howard Construction recalls a homeowner telling the designer about her large vaulted ceiling. “My lead is hearing this, and knows we’re having trusses with a flat roof, and he’s looking at the interior designer with his mouth open.” The details had been spelled out in specs, the contract, and the plans. Yet right there and then, the client soured. No one could do anything right, even when Howard raised her Spanish tile roof 2 feet with a crane and four floor jacks, a $10,000 change order.