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Discussion Forum

Catchy phrases or sayings for business

| Posted in General Discussion on December 3, 2001 12:29pm

*
I often train framers, carpenters and the like on how to install Insulating Concrete Forms (ICF’s). As a normal course of training, we gather about and partake of the spirits and discuss the training and look at thousands of pictures of good and bad work…which usually leads to discussions of what not to do and how to promote good quality and performance on the part of the new installer. We come up with some pretty good one-liners to put on business cards etc. I noticed a couple on the site today by chance, and thought this is the place to hear ’em all, good or bad. No need to post “Quality is job one” I just sank $600 big ones into a new front end for the ’96. Ian

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Replies

  1. Rich_ | Nov 02, 1999 07:20am | #1

    *
    Who needs a job when there's surf?

    1. JonC_ | Nov 02, 1999 07:42am | #2

      *We screw the other guy and pass the savings on to you.JonC

      1. brisketbean_ | Nov 02, 1999 08:12am | #3

        *Yeah I know thier price is cheaper, and I cant argue with them about thier price, I imagine they know better than anyone else what thier job is worth.brisketbean

        1. jim_"crazy_legs"_blodg | Nov 02, 1999 08:34am | #4

          *"If we can't do it, maybe someone else can. We don't know."

          1. clay_"turkey_neck"_Bee | Nov 02, 1999 09:27am | #5

            *Aw Jeez, don't bring surfing up, I'll get the landlocked weepy eyes.

          2. Joe_Duncan | Nov 02, 1999 10:36am | #6

            *I've been looking for this opening Ian. When I was training and supervising carpenters I told them b "if something seems to difficult it is, your doing something wrong." This rule of thumb was intended to keep them from spending all morning removing all the thin cellophane strips from the shingles before roofing the shed, or otherwise doing something highly inefficient. Sometimes I would expand on the second half of the rule such asb your trying to do something that should not be done, you don't have the right tool for that job, etc.Joe

          3. Mad_Dog | Nov 02, 1999 05:59pm | #7

            *Best one I ever saw was in Idaho, (Boise or Twin Falls). The place was called "Bill's Fairly Reliable Used Cars"MDx

          4. Pete_Draganic | Nov 02, 1999 06:10pm | #8

            *"Hiring us is better than a poke in the ass with a sharp stick.""Specializing in fixing what the other guy screwed up at half the price.""Lifetime warrantee!""Does not apply to poor workmanship, defects in materials, acts of nature or God or anything else that goes wrong."Pete Draganic

          5. calvin_ | Nov 03, 1999 03:55am | #9

            *Toledo Radiator.....a great place to take a leak.

          6. Skip_Keith | Nov 08, 1999 08:43am | #10

            *We stand behind our work! But never under it.

          7. George_W._Carpenter | Nov 08, 1999 09:55am | #11

            *Hey ya bum, whereya been hidin'? We missed ya so much we were gonna find someone to shag-ya again.

          8. George_W._Carpenter | Nov 08, 1999 09:57am | #12

            *Billboard sign out front of a business in Eliot, Maine:Septic Tanks PumpedPool Water DeliveredNot Same Truck

          9. James_DuHamel | Nov 08, 1999 11:38am | #13

            *sign in an automitive repair shop...We have three kinds of repair jobs...b GOOD... CHEAP... and QUICKYou can have any TWO...b Good, and Cheap (but it won't be quick)b Good and Quick (but it won't be cheap)b Cheap, and Quick (but it won't be good)James DuHamel

          10. Ken_Schriner | Nov 08, 1999 08:29pm | #15

            *There is a company in town called:Well Hung Doors.

          11. clay_"turkey_neck"_Bee | Nov 09, 1999 06:39am | #16

            *Plumbers--BIG red van sez: b Kook & Son

          12. Patrick_M. | Nov 20, 1999 09:12am | #17

            *Did a reno in Toronto's Chinatown many moons ago. . .used to see this truck in the neighbourhood advertisingb Wong Wal Construction-pm

          13. Mike_Smith | Nov 20, 1999 09:55pm | #18

            *Company in Provincetown , MAb ACCURATE PLUMBINGand my cement finishers answering machine "I'm out working, why the hell aren't you ?""tailight warranty........good 'til my truck gets over the hill""you don't have to measure the job, I did it for you"

          14. jim_"crazy_legs"_blodg | Nov 20, 1999 10:01pm | #19

            *b MINI'S WHOREHOUSE(we don't give a f*ck for nothin')

          15. CaseyR_ | Nov 23, 1999 05:25am | #20

            *Just was looking in the yeller pages under plumbing and it was definitely devoid of clever slogans - "We Clean Out Your Drain, Not Your Wallet" was as close as it got. Not any better under the constractor's list with "change is good" as about the only entry...Passed a glasier's truck today with the slogan "we fix your pane". On I-5 there is a grass turf grower with "we are easy to get a lawn with" on the sign; and another a few miles further on with "we just keep rollin a lawn"...Somewhere there must actually be some good ones - I remember a bar some place (don't remember where, maybe Texas) that had as it slogan: "liquor where she likes it"...

          16. Gregoryj | Nov 23, 1999 09:51am | #21

            *"We're not very good, but at least we're slow'

          17. James_DuHamel | Nov 23, 1999 10:45am | #22

            *Saw an ad on t.v. this evening. It was a bankruptcy lawyer, specializing in bankruptcies only. I kid you not, on the bottom of the screen, in large letters, it said "We accept all major credit cards"That's right, go ahead and add the bankruptcy lawyer's fee to your debt listing! This is nuts...James DuHamel

          18. Chuckster_ | Nov 23, 1999 05:36pm | #23

            *I Fish, Therefore I Am.

          19. Don_Papenburg | Nov 23, 1999 05:55pm | #24

            *A bar in Dwight Ill. called Art's Bird Store : We sell swallows

          20. Jerry_Hill | Nov 25, 1999 10:19am | #25

            *I HONESTLY DID SEE THIIS ONE IN THE LOCAL TAB... .'MUTANT NINJA CARPENTER.'......

          21. Dwight_English | Nov 29, 1999 11:34am | #26

            *How about "We do our best and caulk the rest"

          22. Howard_Love | Dec 01, 1999 03:26am | #27

            *Venetian blind installer in Dallas: "This car driven by a blind man!"Grocery store in Durant, OK: "You may whip our cream, but you can't beat our meat!"Chinese restaurant in Dallas: "Big Wong"

          23. Rich_Beckman | Dec 01, 1999 03:35am | #28

            *An Indianapolis awning business: Shady DealsRich Beckman

          24. bkunkle | Dec 01, 1999 07:13am | #29

            *gas stasion and resterant sign on highway says eat here and get gas

          25. Howard_Love | Dec 02, 1999 02:12am | #30

            *If it flys, floats or f*cks, it's cheaper to rent it!

          26. Joe_Hennessey | Dec 02, 1999 11:58am | #31

            *Used to be a business here called "A & H something" -- don't remember what they actually were, but they were well known (due to the quality of the work) as "Ax & Hatchet" Joe H

          27. Clayton_Smith | Dec 03, 1999 06:54am | #32

            *A slogan for a bar in Missoula Montana reads: Liquor in front, poker in rear!

          28. Pete_Draganic | Dec 13, 1999 09:49pm | #33

            *I just noticed a new billboard at my local lumber yard..."The best lumber yard you ever sawed"Pete "laughing on the inside" Draganic

          29. Rob_Fisenne | Jan 15, 2000 12:29am | #34

            *We do it right because we do it twice

          30. Li | Jan 15, 2000 01:33am | #35

            *Sign on a Hickey Septic Service truck:If it's icky, just call Hickey.

          31. Eric_M._Borgman | Jan 15, 2000 07:07am | #36

            *If its got tits or tires, you're bound to have trouble with it!

          32. Steve_Hansen | Jan 15, 2000 07:27am | #37

            *Advertisement for a hardware store in Belleville, Illinois that specializes in hard-to-find plumbing supplies - "Don't sleep with a drip".

          33. Billy_Gear | Jan 16, 2000 05:17pm | #38

            *WE GET IT UP APOLLO CEILINGS Boston MA

          34. Wolverine_ | Jan 16, 2000 05:36pm | #39

            *Blow Brother's Septic Service in Maine:Blow Brother's, we're #1 in #2

          35. Jerry_Hill | Jan 16, 2000 08:35pm | #40

            *Hair salon near my home is called "Curl Up And Dye".

          36. James_DuHamel | Jan 17, 2000 12:44am | #41

            *My sister in law showed me this one. She's a hair stylist and gets some mags about hair styling business.Seems there is a hair salon somewhere in Florida that is called Sensational Hair Designs. A competitor bought some billboard space with the following ad - "After You've Had Your Hair Sensationally Designed, Come See Us - We'll Fix It"Article said a lawsuit was pending over the ad.James DuHamel

          37. Buzzy_ | Jan 17, 2000 02:01am | #42

            *I have a saying that is "When we are done, it's finished!"

          38. Eric_M._Borgman | Jan 17, 2000 07:50am | #43

            *I have some cards that have the following statement. Perhaps you've seen them before . . .MY CARD SIR. . .I am somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally I like to pause to listen to a real professional.PLEASE CARRY ON. . .eb

          39. Jim_Lovatt | Jan 19, 2000 02:20am | #44

            *Fred's Whorehouse - you bone 'em, we own 'em.

          40. Freelance_ | Jan 22, 2000 09:18am | #45

            *Some years ago when I lived in a barn near a trackless railroad grade in a valley of hardwoods I worked with a couple of guys whose workaday speech was inflected with rythms and resonances accumulable only after years of driving a 66 SS with four studded snows. These guys had a deep emotional link to the language that made marvels of platitudes overhung by the lit green crescents of Genesee Cream Ales on their ways to a slake. One time we were stabilizing dormer trusses by stapling on some OSB. Stapler jams. Bock was his name, opens the nose and "BA-ZING" there goes the spring several stories down into a welter of cutoffs and those same green cans. Down goes Bock and maybe two minutes go by and here he comes with the spring... he makes no comment, no catchy phrase, no living bit of language frought with deep insight, likeliness or the simplicity of an old car and life in a trailer on a half acre that somebody's letting you use, the defiance of the odds of finding that spring eloquent comment enough, I guess.

          41. Patrick_M. | Jan 22, 2000 10:05pm | #46

            *FreelanceNice turn of phrase.. . whaddya doin here?-pm

          42. Freelance_ | Jan 23, 2000 08:26am | #47

            *Sacred Cow TipperJust visiting, looking for some fun intercybercution-chopping wood carrying water ya know.

          43. Rich_Beckman | Jan 23, 2000 09:13am | #48

            *Well, Freelance, you have a nice way with words there. Stick around and have a beer.Rich Beckman

          44. Chris_Robb | Jan 23, 2000 02:08pm | #49

            *Bumpersticker from local auto parts store named Cut Rate Auto Parts "This vehicle powered by C.R.A.P", buddys business card " If you want it..we can build it, If we cant build it...You dont need it!

          45. Tony_Ferrito | Jan 24, 2000 05:37pm | #50

            *We may be slow but we're Expensive!!One of my favorite Downeast witicisms.

          46. VBAKER | Feb 12, 2000 08:13pm | #51

            *At SPEEDT YOUR'RE A SOMEBODY BUT AROUND HERE, YOUR'RE FUCK ALL"

          47. VBAKER | Feb 12, 2000 08:16pm | #52

            *AT SPEEDY YOUR'RE A SOMEBODY AROUND HERE YOUR'RE FUCK ALL!!!!

          48. Ryan_C | Feb 12, 2000 09:04pm | #53

            *I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS'RE

          49. chuck_a_crawford | Feb 12, 2000 09:23pm | #54

            *Me neither'er Ryan

          50. Doug_Recko_ | Feb 13, 2000 02:19am | #55

            *2 bumpah (no "r" in that word in Mass) stickers I saw:"If you think you feel good, you should feel me""My Karma ran over my dogma"

          51. MATT_WOODROW | Feb 13, 2000 05:52am | #56

            *ONE FROM MY SISTERS HAIR SALON THAT GOES WELL WITH CONSTRUCTION: GREAT CARE MUST BE TAKEN TO AVOID MISTAKES THAT CANNOT BE EASILY DISGUISED.

          52. Airborne_Engineer | Feb 13, 2000 07:12am | #57

            *A few from Me.For that new helper:A little bit of caulk,A little bit of glue, Make up for what you cannot do.For the slow poke:Come on we got a dime holdin' up a dollar. For the person who waits to move at a traffic signal:That's the only shade of green your going to get.I once told my father as he opened his lunch while driving,"You only get half the road."His response, "Yeah and I'm takig mine right out of the middle."I don't remember who coined this one, but its for that slow driver in the fast lane:Drive it or pull it over and throw stones at it.

          53. TLE_Builder | Feb 16, 2000 07:22am | #58

            *Putty and paint - makes it what it ain't.

          54. James_DuHamel | Feb 16, 2000 10:52am | #59

            *That's "Caulk and Paint Make Carpenter's What They Ain't"Here's some more...Your happiest customer is the man who believes you went broke fixing up his shack...Old Caprenter's never quit...they just forget to finishIf it's thin, glue it...If it's thick, nail it...If it's pretty, hug it...If it's ugly, cover it...and so on, and so forth...James DuHamel

          55. Ken_Schriner | Nov 08, 1999 08:29pm | #14

            *There is a company in town called:Well Hung Doors.

          56. Jason_Currier | Nov 21, 2001 06:25pm | #60

            *There is a sail loft in Portland, Maine- Hard Sails. They have T-Shirts that encourage you to "Sail with a Hard on"

          57. Alan_Ray | Nov 21, 2001 06:50pm | #61

            *Me and a couple of buddies used to have a drywall business - "Well Hung Drywall". After it was all said and done, we made more money selling hats, t-shirts and sweatshirts than we did hanging drywall.My father-in-laws business is called "Bad News Construction", "High prices and lousy workmanship, just like everyone else."

          58. r__ignacki | Nov 21, 2001 10:31pm | #62

            *I liked the ficticious business name I was given in an accounting class once.Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe.I wondered if that was an actual parnership somewhere.

          59. samcoinc_ | Nov 21, 2001 11:55pm | #63

            *that is click and clack the car talk guys on public radio legal teamDewey, Cheatem, & Howethey have all kinds of neet names like Russian Chauffeur-- Picov Andropov Divorce Attorney-- Carmine Nottyors Head of Security-- Barb Dwyer Director of Catering-- Russell Upsumgrub and much more

          60. Mark_McDonnell | Nov 22, 2001 04:02am | #64

            *On the side of a building, a tavern pimping their finest sandwich delicacy:BRAINS.......$0.25

          61. Rich_ | Nov 22, 2001 04:25am | #65

            *What!!! Didn't you guys watch The Three Stooges? D.C.& H was a lawfirm on their shows.

          62. Rich_Beckman | Nov 22, 2001 04:48am | #66

            *I'm sure I posted this once before, long ago. The sign on what is probably the only business in a tiny Indiana town:b EATb BEERRich Beckman

          63. Cynthia_S | Nov 22, 2001 04:53am | #67

            *I saw this slogan on the side of a truck that was delivering peanuts and snacks in NYC."EAT MY NUTS"

          64. John_Lazaro | Nov 22, 2001 05:03am | #68

            *Our block mason's company logo:"Get laid by the best."

          65. phil_eves | Nov 22, 2001 05:16pm | #69

            *I always thought it was BOYD, DEWEY, SKRUME & HOWE

          66. jim_"crazy_legs"_blodg | Nov 22, 2001 07:50pm | #70

            *On the back of Pro-dek's truck it says "Want to get decked?"

          67. Greg_Brown | Nov 23, 2001 02:21am | #71

            *saw this posted here a while back- on the side of a truck-"Two White Guys that do Drugs & Paint Houses"

          68. Don_Hamel | Nov 23, 2001 06:35am | #72

            *From a bar in Auburn, CA: "liquor in the front, poker in the rear."

          69. splintergroupie_ | Nov 23, 2001 07:01am | #73

            *A lawyer in Missoula: Hugh G. Kidder.Mattress warehouse: Beddie Buys.Last year I had a hard time choosing between the "Sweet Pea" and "Royal Flush" folks to pump my septic tank.

          70. Luka_ | Nov 23, 2001 09:28am | #74

            *On a bar in Sultan Wa.Cold coffeeWarm beerPay toiletsCome on in.

          71. Bill_Richardson | Nov 23, 2001 04:47pm | #75

            *You guys are a tough act to follow, here goes:I fish therefore I lieand my father used to have business cards that went:Most people call me "Sweet Old Bill, but some call me just by my initials"and then there was:FREE TICKET to the Circus! You have been chosen to kiss the elephants ass. Bring a ladder. and in conclusion:The employer requests that all employees come to work fully bathed, seeing as how we have to kiss your ass to get any work done, we want it nice and clean. :-]

          72. Pete_Draganic | Nov 24, 2001 03:24am | #76

            *Dewey, Cheatem and Howe is from a Three Stooges episode.

          73. phil_eves | Nov 24, 2001 07:49pm | #77

            *...on a garbage truck, "Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your garbage back!"...on a different garbage truck," If your garbage isn't becoming to you, it should be coming to us!"

          74. Tim_Thompson | Nov 28, 2001 06:35am | #78

            *On a local plumbers truck "Knee deep in Experience"A friend of mine used to answer his phone with things like; Ron's pool hall. We rack 'em you crack 'em. Crawdaddy's bar and grill. We shuck 'em You suck 'em. Mabel's whorehouse. The customer always comes first. Daddy's hotrod shop. Number 1 piston speaking. or Tim mulebarn. Which Jackass do you want?

          75. Stray_ | Nov 28, 2001 07:34pm | #79

            *There is an office in Harvard Square Boston that actually has "Dewey Cheetham & Howe" stenciled on gold leaf on the window. Don't know if it'a a joke or not, but it's there. May just be a take off on the stooges.Don't know why septic services seem to have catch phrases more often...guess you have to have some humor in that busioness. In town here we have "Stinky's Septic Svc"

          76. Mr.T | Nov 29, 2001 02:02am | #80

            *If you gutter have gutter, we gutter.T

          77. ruth_dobsevage | Nov 29, 2001 06:23pm | #81

            *Seen in Bethel, CT, on a little truck, presumably a flooring installer: Just say no to rugs.

          78. Crusty_ | Nov 30, 2001 08:37am | #82

            *AT&T ran a TV add with a guy saying: My dad always told me, "Never be afraid to buy the best. You'll always be happy with it."That struck a never with me, so that's what I do now with tools. Haven't bought one in several years that I didn't absolutely love!

          79. Bryan_Klakamp | Nov 30, 2001 09:00am | #83

            *On another garbage truck: "Hot meals on wheels"

          80. David_Thomas | Nov 30, 2001 08:59pm | #84

            *Greg Brown: Are you in SF? That's where I've seen, "Two White Guys that do Drugs & Paint Houses"

          81. Adam_Zaharchuk | Dec 01, 2001 08:27am | #85

            *There is a Restaurant in Cave Creek, Arizona called "The Horny Toad".....across the street from it is a restaurant called "The Satisfied Frog"

          82. Jay_Honeycutt | Dec 02, 2001 06:01am | #86

            *This is slightly off the tact, but more or less the same subject.Back in the mid-80s when I was hanging gutter to pay for college, my vastly more experienced partner would flirt with any woman he could find - at the store, in a fast-food place at lunch, on site, on the side of the road, etc.However, he felt that calling himself a mere gutter hanger was a bit demeaning, not to mention that it lacked a bit of poetry. So one day while talking up a sweet young thing while we were getting a bag of ice, his profession came up."What do you do?" Sweet Young Thing asked."I'm a residential hydrodiversion engineer," Experienced Partner said.And from that day forward, that's what we were.

          83. Cynthia_S | Dec 02, 2001 06:21am | #87

            *I like that! I wonder if he was related to the guy I met who told me he was a "propellant transfer technician". It took me a minute before realized what he REALLY meant was that he pumped gas!

          84. David_Mason | Dec 02, 2001 06:48am | #88

            *My brother in law Has three guarantees that come with his concrete work . Fireproof , theft proof and guaranteed to crack.

          85. Mr.T | Dec 02, 2001 11:52pm | #89

            *The Ham that am Ham restaurant outside Syracuse, NY Has a wednesday special called the "Squat and Gobble"

          86. David_Mason | Dec 03, 2001 12:03am | #90

            *Halfway between Fairbanks and Nenana is a roadhouse called Skinny Dick's Halfway Inn. I don't want to mention what their specialty is .Lets just say it involves special sauce.

          87. Cynthia_S | Dec 03, 2001 12:29am | #91

            *Saw a sign outside a restaurant when I was traveling in upstate NY. The restaurant was named The Black Angus...but the "g" had fallen off the sign.

  2. Ian_ICF_Builders | Dec 03, 2001 12:29am | #92

    *
    I often train framers, carpenters and the like on how to install Insulating Concrete Forms (ICF's). As a normal course of training, we gather about and partake of the spirits and discuss the training and look at thousands of pictures of good and bad work...which usually leads to discussions of what not to do and how to promote good quality and performance on the part of the new installer. We come up with some pretty good one-liners to put on business cards etc. I noticed a couple on the site today by chance, and thought this is the place to hear 'em all, good or bad. No need to post "Quality is job one" I just sank $600 big ones into a new front end for the '96. Ian

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