Replies

1. 
   remodelerdw | Jul 24, 2004 04:19pm | #1

   I think people are sturdy for the unusual things they do.  If they get too bent up over it, tough on them.  I have a tenant who has a picture of his dad tattooed on his back and air brushed on his car, he was sixteen when his dad died of cancer and he took care of the old man his final year of life. 

   remodeler

1. 
   DanT | Jul 24, 2004 06:15pm | #3

   I am not one for a lot of sentimental gestures in terms of memorials so it is hard for me to relate to.  I just didn't think of that being the issue.  He seemed ok with it but you know he is a salesman so I couldn't really tell.  Especially since I ended the lunch with saying no thanks to his proposal.  DanT

2. 
   xMikeSmith | Jul 24, 2004 05:19pm | #2

   hmmmmmmm.....been there, done that

   Mike Smith   Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore

3. 
   FastEddie1 | Jul 24, 2004 08:19pm | #4

   Awkward situation.  But since you made a comment about your father's ugly mug, and not about body art, I don't think it was as bad as you think.

   Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell'em "Certainly, I can!"  Then get busy and find out how to do it.  T. Roosevelt

4. 
   dbanes | Jul 24, 2004 10:34pm | #5

   Maybe it's not a total loss, he may not bug you about renewing...

   Scribe once, cut once!(David Banes)

5. 
   aimless | Jul 24, 2004 10:57pm | #6

   A guy who has full sleeve tatoos should certainly be tough enough to take a little comment like yours. It's not like you said you knew his old man and the guy was a jerk that deserved to be memorialized with concrete shoes or anything.

   At least your salesman is smart enough to limit his tats to places that can be covered with business attire. Once you start doing hands, face, and neck, you start limiting your job potential.

   Friends of mine in college went and got decorated on their hips and various other parts and I've always wondered how those things look after having babies, gaining/losing weight, etc. How exactly does a butterfly with a stretch mark look?

1. 
   DanT | Jul 24, 2004 11:07pm | #7

   I worked in prison for 13 years.  Saw lots of tatoos.  Old and new.  They don't look better as they age!  DanT

2. 
   Sphere | Jul 24, 2004 11:07pm | #8

   How exactly does a butterfly with a stretch mark look?

   Think Salvadore Dali and Picasso had a kid that got both thier DNA, an that kid bred with off spring of Peter Maxx, and then mixed dna with Roger Dean..thats what.

     View Image

   Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks

   Repairs, Remodeling, Restorations. 

   Edited 7/24/2004 4:10 pm ET by SPHERE

6. 
   JeffBuck | Jul 24, 2004 11:24pm | #9

   ahh .. screw him.

   A smart salesman woulda just laughted right along with the customer.

   you were there to talk advertising ... not tat's ...

   he shoulda just swallowed any tattoo comments that came after he brought it up.

   Jeff

   Buck Construction, llc   Pittsburgh,PA

        Artistry in Carpentry                

7. 
   jmo2 | Jul 25, 2004 12:02am | #10

   Dan--I'm just learning my way around a Sawzall.  But I used to be a corporate psychologist/ethnographer.  (A headshrinker/researcher who works for the Man :) 

   Although my practice was limited to work contexts, people are--at heart--somewhat the same at work and outside of it.

   I think you did the right thing by dropping the conversation at that point and letting the salesperson handle it if he wanted to continue talking about his dad.  By mentioning his tatoos without preparing you in that first sentence about the serious nature of the conversation (in his mind), he was sending a bit of a strange message.  I'm sure his dad was on his mind for some other reason.  And you were there, at lunch, and he wanted to get into a conversation with a relative stranger about a sensitive subject.  Always a risk. 

   And I think you handled it well by having the grace to stay silent on the subject.  Give him some space to re-address the topic if he needed to.

   Couple of other things:

   • I reread your note and noticed that you made a point of mentioning your son going with you, and that he was uncomfortable during that point in the conversation.  Did you talk about the lunch with your son about the lunch after you parted ways with the salesperson?
   • I was struck by the incongruence between your sensitivity to the salesguy's feelings about his dad and the comment, "What the hell...it was free anyway."  Do you feel that you owed the salesguy something after the uncomfortable conversation?  I hope you don't.  Salespeople, especially in radio, are aware of response rates and strategies.  The good ones always prepare for a lunch like this one assuming that you will not renew and gathering data or determining a new strategy to convince you otherwise.  They offer to meet to get the opportunity to speak to you.  Which you gave to him. 

   Take care.

1. 
   DanT | Jul 25, 2004 12:40am | #11

   Ummmmm.........well.........it all started when the other boys tied me to that tree and pulled my pants down. 

   Look, I posted this as a light humor/learn from my mistake post.  Not a lets analyze Dans actions and reactions to his error post.  My son is 20 and laughed it off with me after that fact.  I was simply posting the reactions of those involved.  I appreciate the concern but trust me it is not a deep tramatic moment in my life nor do I care to take it apart and put it back together for affect.

   Trama was talking an inmate out of a 3' piece of sharpened steel that he wanted to machetee one of my staff with.  That could probably use some analysis. 

   Jeff: 

   Thanks for the humor.  Always enjoy your take.  DanT

1. 
   xMikeSmith | Jul 25, 2004 12:43am | #12

   dan...

    <<<<

   45682.12 in reply to 45682.11 

   Ummmmm.........well.........it all started when the other boys tied me to that tree and pulled my pants down.  >>>

    damn.. i thot i was the only one that happened to... i'm so relieved..

    see how good this sharing can be ?Mike Smith   Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore

1. 
   DanT | Jul 25, 2004 01:27am | #13

   Good....Good yeah I feel better already.  I guess contractors have all been traumatized in the same manner LOL.  DanT

2. 
   Luka | Jul 25, 2004 01:58am | #14

   Dan,

   JMO was just trying to be helpful.

   Your response was a tad sharp/defensive.

   I do that alllllll the time, myself.

   : )

   "Criticism without instruction is little more than abuse." D.Sweet

1. 
   DanT | Jul 25, 2004 03:44am | #16

   I suppose it could be read as sharp and defensive since I felt that way when I wrote it.  You notice Mike thought it was funny.  To each his own.  DanT

3. 
   jmo2 | Jul 25, 2004 03:15am | #15

   Check!  Got it.  Next time I'll know.....if it's DanT, to communicate the same sentiment, just say, "Man.  Sucks to be you."  

   (very big wink here) 

1. 
   jmo2 | Jul 25, 2004 07:55am | #17

   Dan--Don't sweat it.  If I knew you (other than through typing), I am sure that I would already have known it was funny.

   Ya gotta excuse me...I have people come to me more than once a day, everyday, who walk out of those same situations feeling just awful and wanting feedback.

   My bad...it's hard to turn it off.   But now I know!  No hard feelings on this end of the connection.

   jmo

1. 
   JeffBuck | Jul 25, 2004 11:09am | #18

   I need a hug ....

   JeffBuck Construction, llc   Pittsburgh,PA

        Artistry in Carpentry                

2. 
   Luka | Jul 25, 2004 12:33pm | #19

   OK.

   And yer in luck. I just had a shower in september !!

   Just don't get grabby. Duggy told me all about that...

   "Criticism without instruction is little more than abuse." D.Sweet

8. 
   VaGentinMI | Jul 25, 2004 02:17pm | #20

   I wouldnt worry about it. I have a similar situation when I mention having to dress / change my 16 y/0 dtr.  PPl tend to laugh, till they find out that she is handicapped. She is just different, not that many kids 16 & not potty trained.

9. 
   Piffin | Jul 25, 2004 08:09pm | #21

   You were there as a potential customer, not as his therapist, so what Jeff said is how it is.

   Wanna get back to embarrassing moments for humour?

   Yesterday, after finally getting parked in the ferry line, I had to wait in another line behind three people to get into the bathroom, so I was in quite a hurry by then. Just as I was closing the door and locking ( I thought) it, my cell phone rang. I was expecting a call from wife and don't normally get calls on cell on saturday, so I answered without looking to see who it was.

   So just as I am getting ready to turn on Niagra Falls, I realize that it is my current big customer on the line.

   Hold the presses and stop the flow ( almost doubling over in pain) and try to hold on a professional conversation and make it brief while being tactfull.

   So there I am, in pain, and trying to maintain composure and professionalism, when I hear the door open behind me and a kid's voice saying, "There's somebody in here Mom..."

    

    

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1. 
   DanT | Jul 25, 2004 08:29pm | #22

   Good one.  I don't give customers my cell phone number just because of that.  Well almost never.  DanT