Replies

1. 
   TommyB12 | Mar 22, 2002 05:05am | #1

   I think its the same person who keeps asking that.

   What are those two prongs for on the other side of my hammer?

   Tom

1. 
   G80104 | Mar 22, 2002 05:09am | #2

   Cant wait for the first guy that asks about attic venting.

2. 
   Piffin | Mar 22, 2002 05:15am | #3

   Use one of them to back the screw out of your utility knife. I don't know what the other one is for.

   Excellence is its own reward!

3. 
   calvin | Mar 22, 2002 05:18am | #4

   Bottle openerRemodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.

4. 
   r_ignacki | Mar 23, 2002 12:49am | #12

   those two prongs, your are spose to keep them sharp. Just in case you slip on the roof and  going to fall off, you plunge the prongs into the roof as hard as you can. How do you switch back from italics will someone answer that please..  

1. 
   mercer88 | Mar 23, 2002 05:04pm | #25

   I think you were mislead about driving your hammer into the roof.  I know this from experience there is know time to do it.  My advive is to spud yourself between the eyes.  Thus rendering yourself unconscious.  Why you ask,  because when you start to fall your brain kicks into high gear  screaming oh *&%$ this is going to hurt.  Therfore you brace yourself for the impact.  In essence  you tense up causing yourself to break more bones.  If your unconscious you hit the ground like a sack of pooh  (can I say that here).  It is like  drunk drivers they rarely get hurt.

1. 
   r_ignacki | Mar 28, 2002 01:05am | #27

   Oh. heh heh, you fell off before, eh?? Did you spud yerself or fall into the dirt. 1 story, 2,??

   wHAT IF the stucco dude was below and you would fall into his mudmixer, hell, I sure as wouldn't want tooo get CHRRRND  UP, IN DA MUD, how wuld you like to get scooped up and dropped on a hawk and troweled up an the wall, hehehehehehehehe, one arm here, a foot near the door, legs up on the gable, hell with this ### post.  

1. 
   Newf | Mar 28, 2002 01:19am | #28

   ...Helen???...Newf

   Carpenter, woodworker, gardener, fool...

2. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 22, 2002 05:52am | #5

   Dear G8,

   Yes this question is asked time and again, but rarely answered correctly. Usually some well intentioned carp blurts out some nonsense about 96 divided by 5. Please, let's be real. When is that ever going to come up?

   Of course, over time other theories get tossed out. The metric thing always comes up early. Then we see British guys mumbling about stones or hands or some other nutty Imperial Units. Occultists won't let go of the cubit, and liking Egyptian mummy stuff, I almost fell for that story once. Australians are the worst, forever insisting that it all makes sense if you look at it upside down.

   This being the 650th take, I'm just going to set the record straight. The 19 3/16 marks first showed up on Stanley tapes in 1968. Was there a coincidence that 2001: A Space Odyssey was released that same year? I think not. The movie was not only directed, but also financed by none other than Stanley Kubric, sole heir to the hardware dynasty. Yeeesss.

   As you may recall, a central theme and key visual element of the film was the black Monolith. Kubric, with his legendary eye for light and proportion struggled for months with the dimensions of the Monolith. Actors aged, crews stood idle, and the film went way, way over budget. The entire project appeared to be doomed. Still Kubric was paralyzed by this one problem.

   One day a lowly grip was wandering around the set and tripped over a stray audio cable. As luck would have it, he lost his coffee cup and where do you think it landed? Yup, right in the lap of the great director himself. Jolted out of his trance-like meditation on the Monolith, and having his tender parts scalded, Kubric lost his hold on the ever present tape measure he carried, and it crashed to the floor breaking the tape. Stunned, and fearing for his job if not career, the grip picked up the broken length of tape by the hook and offered it sheepishly to his boss.

   His first instinct was to thrash the stupid grip. Raising the remnant to strike, he saw its gleaming yellow length against the latest Monolith mock-up. Instantly he knew he had found the solution to the greatest dilemma ever faced in modern film making. Stepping off 2 lengths sideways and 5 lengths high, Kubric used that broken tape, 19 3/16 inch long, to layout the perfect Monolith. The rest is history.

   So remember, when you see those little diamonds on your tape, they didn't get there by accident. Every measurement we make honors the cinematic and carpentry triumph we know as 2001. Greatest movie ever made.

   Happy to clear this up for you, Fred

   [email protected]

1. 
   G80104 | Mar 22, 2002 06:10am | #6

   Thank You , Fred   the only part I am not buying is, 2001 being the best movie made.(IMHO)  ~(::)> Mice & Men

2. 
   IanDGilham | Mar 22, 2002 11:21am | #7

   Fred,

   I've not seen such a load of old balls since Grandad went hang-gliding in a kilt.

   The imperial measurement, 19 3/16 inches is equivalent to the metric 487.5 millimetres.

   Now, dividing that number by 7 (the number of letters in the name "Stanley") you arrive at 69.642857 and, substituting letters for these numbers, one derives the acronym, FIFDBHEG --- herein lies the clue to the reason for the marking in that fashion. FIFDBHEG stands for Framing Information For Designing Buildings Having Elliptical Gables.

   I hope this information helps to clarify the matter.

1. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 23, 2002 01:11am | #13

   Such a load of balls

   Dear Ian,

   I knew it. I knew it to the degree of cosmic certitude. Of course you would find yet another ammusing thing to post at my expense. I see your calculator at work here, but what of your sensitivity?

   I'm concerned at other possible meanings that could be derived from FIFDBHEG. Very, very deeply concerned. Where will this lead?

   Laughing at me, Fred

   [email protected]

   Edited 3/22/2002 6:14:17 PM ET by Fred

   Edited 3/22/2002 6:15:42 PM ET by Fred

1. 
   G80104 | Mar 23, 2002 05:23am | #14

   Fred,

          It was a slow day today so I called upon the folks @ Stanley Hardware. Sorry no connection between Stanley Kubrick & Frederick T. Stanley of Stanely Hardware. Seems Mr. Kubricks father was a doctor in N.Y. The person @ Stanley ( Phone # 860 225 5111) stated that the black diamond marks have only been on the tapes since late 1979. Also the black marks every 19.2" on the tapes are for spacing engineered lumber,(as we all know. ) Take 12", 16",19-3/16in.,and 24in. If you multiply these dimensions by 8,6,5,and 4, respectively you come up with 96". A major supplier of Engineered Lumber asked the Stanley Tool Works to make a tape as a promo to give to Lumber Yards, Builders etc.  "  Now You Know the Rest of the Story"

   Next Week: "To Vent or not Vent"

1. 
   KenHill3 | Mar 23, 2002 05:35am | #15

   19 3/16 x 5 = 95 15/16. 19.2 x 5 = 96.

2. 
   G80104 | Mar 23, 2002 05:56am | #16

   Ken , Your statement is true, but thats what Stanely said. It also makes the same statement @ http://www.stanleyworks.com/faq/faq_hand.htm   Could also be there is no 19.2 on the stanley tapes?

3. 
   JamesDuHamel | Mar 23, 2002 03:21pm | #24

   Sorry to bust your balls on this one, but I have a PRE 1968 Stanley tape measure, complete with red diamonds at 19.3 inches.

   Older carps here were using the 19.3 spacing/layout of ceiling joists in the 60's and 70's, so the theory (given to you by a young, uninformed Stanley rep) is just not accurate.

   The diamond was not added to the tape measure just for the use of engineered lumbered. Engineered lumber and I beams just happen to use the same layout. James DuHamel

4. 
   luvmuskoka | Mar 23, 2002 11:48pm | #26

   Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  19 3/16 is actually military time. Roughly 7:15 p.m. This is supposed to remind you that your late for dinner!

   Edited 3/23/2002 4:54:47 PM ET by LUVMUSKOKA

   Edited 3/23/2002 4:55:29 PM ET by LUVMUSKOKA

2. 
   PhilEves | Mar 28, 2002 05:58am | #29

   ...ACTUALLY...the noted FIFDBHEG is an alternate tuning for a 8-string Rohelian Steel guitar I actually used to own.....Nah, even I'm not buying this one, cheers,Phil.

   If memory serves it was actually a Pandelwasnium 8 string banjo,it was made out of cantaffordium and unobtainium......

   If it is to be, 'twil be done by me..

   Edited 3/27/2002 11:06:57 PM ET by Philter

1. 
   r_ignacki | Mar 30, 2002 12:40am | #30

   helen who?  

1. 
   SlyCook | Mar 30, 2002 01:23am | #31

   You used RBG #800080 which is just a bit to close to my color. Newf notices these things.

   Just a little residual Helen Wheels paranoia. Nothing to worry about. H

3. 
   MikeS | Mar 22, 2002 07:07pm | #8

   So Fred

   Do you think Andy could get Kubric to direct Tauntons first big screen movie  Breaktime 2002: A Web Odyssey

   A possible story plot:

   Carpenters try to find their Zen across cyberspace

    

    Mike

   It's O.k. to think out of the box,           Just don't walk off of the plank!

1. 
   WillieJoeBob | Mar 22, 2002 07:46pm | #9

   How about turning one of the dozen useless buttons at the top into a dedicated link to the lore of "19 3/16"" Possibly label it "Andrew's FAQs" and link it to another planet somehow? Plenty of room left next to the "Threads" button for more useless stuff.  Joe H

2. 
   JohnSprung | Mar 22, 2002 09:10pm | #10

   Alas, Kubrick isn't available to direct.  He died during post production on "Eyes Wide Shut".

   -- J.S.

1. 
   MikeS | Mar 22, 2002 10:08pm | #11

   If Andy can herd this group of cats then bringing back Kubric should be relativly easy :)Mike

   It's O.k. to think out of the box,           Just don't walk off of the plank!

3. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 23, 2002 06:12am | #17

   Dear G8,

   Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do they say? You repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.

   We don't get fooled again.

   Too old to fall for those phone corperate web site frauds, Fred

   [email protected]

1. 
   G80104 | Mar 23, 2002 06:18am | #18

   Well Fred ,I have yet to see anything to backup the wives tale from 2001 a space odyssey!

1. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 23, 2002 06:30am | #19

   Dear G8,

   Oh really. Well then why did you have to delete the evidence? Hum, hum hum? Go ahead, try to explain your way out of that.

   And anyway, it's my word count against your websites.

   I win again. Fred

   [email protected]

1. 
   G80104 | Mar 23, 2002 06:42am | #20

   Fred,

          What I deleted was a double post , This great new system (POS) takes about 5min.when I add a web link. What I am waiting for is the answer as to where you came up with the tall tail of the young gaffer who trip on the stage of 2001. Balls in your court & the game aint over!

1. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 23, 2002 06:58am | #21

   Dear G8,

   Or should I call you Winston Smith? It may be 18 years on, but we still remember your work at the Minitrue.

   War is Peace. Fred

   [email protected]

2. 
   G80104 | Mar 23, 2002 07:09am | #22

   Fred,

          What the Heck , You now trying to tell me that George Orwell is in on the 19 3/16 hash marks? 1984 ? Fred is it Maple Syrup Time in Your Neck of the woods? I know that the boiling sap has strange effects on some. Next your going to give me a line on how Stanley Kubrick bought a tape from Kevin Bacon.   (This should get me at least 3 points).

   Edited 3/23/2002 12:12:14 AM ET by G80104

3. 
   Fred_Lugano | Mar 23, 2002 07:14am | #23

   Dear G8,

   Our beloved Gov tapped a tree today for a photo op. Came up dry. Pretty much the story of his administration.

   Vermontishly, Fred

   [email protected]