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I just recently started a home repair business. It’s really a part time business that I do after I get home from my full time job. The work I look for is typically small jobs repairing drywall, painting, fixing leaky faucets and stuff the professionals don’t really want to be bothered with. Although I have run into bigger jobs that I sometimes call a friend of mine to help (he is a carpenter).
What I’ve been running into since I started this venture (which is going on 3 months) is all the negative responses I get from different people, most of them you know and trust. You know what I’m saying, “your crazy for wanting to start a business, your not going to get rich and it’s stress full” or ” why waste your time, you have a good job now” and bla bla bla. I’m sure all you business owners heard it all before too. In fact even my wife,( who doesn’t come out and say anything bad, but doesn’t really show any kind of support) seems to be on the negative side.
I have my reasons for doing this and it’s not to become rich, I think one reason is I like to do things with my hands and I think the other reason is I get a sense of pride with accomplishing something. I don’t get that kind of fulfillment from my full time job.
How did or do you guys get around all the negatively? I’m a pretty optimistic guy by nature, but when you seem to get no support from no one it tends to eat at you. My friend (the carpenter) doesn’t say too much about what I’m doing (negative or positive) I think he wants me to do what I want without having to put his .02 cents in and figure it out for myself.
I posted this topic on another forum and had people tell me their horror stories too. I did however met a friend from Minnesota who gives me advice and encouraging words too. Any advice or story would be helpful. It’s hard enough doing things with positive people around you. The negatives make it 5 times harder.
Thank you
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your wife I can understand, she wants you at home (and all those projects better be done b/4 you go out). Screw the others.
*2 short words of advice.Screw 'em.Longer version.If you have the guts to stand on your own 2 feet and go out on your own CONGRATULATIONS.If you have the guts and can last long enough you will acquire the know-how.You can achieve remarkable personal freedom and to a large extent controll your own destiny.But the failures will be your own fault.The negative people are most likely people who lack your guts and have chosen the safety of wage slavery over the freedom you are shooting for.all that said----if the wife ain't on your side it's gonna be tough to make it.
*Your "friends" are just like Steve said, and also a little jealous because your doing something you like and just might hit is big.Your wife is nervous. She sees that you may trade the steady income for something that is truly unpredictable.Scott R
*To Scott, I must reassure the wife that before I would make a move to quit my full time job, I would have to be making more money a year than I do now. I never thought that she could be scared. Thanks for that observation. To Stephen, You know, I wouldn't be one of those people. I would be the guy who says "congrats and hope you do well". Guess that's who I am though. I didn't get in this to be rich, or did I expect to do this to make a career change, but if it happens it happens. It won't happen if I don't try.
*I also get frustrated by unwanted advice, and have gotten my share. It seems to be the people who don't have the skills who spout off the advice freely. (ei: My Sister has no kids and has never even had a serious boyfriend, but considers herself an expert on child rearing and marriage)A couple of things come to mind:Ever hear the saying that "There's some truth in every criticism" ? They are correct in saying that running a business is a pain in the neck. Don't take that too lightly. When they start spouting off advice, I generally don't have the heart to tell them to stick it. I just try to change the subject by asking them about something unrelated. It's more inportant that you get along with your friends than that you prevent them from giving you advice. My only other thought is to reinforce what Scott basically said. Make sure your Wife supports what you're doing. Maybe she has some concerns that she hasn't expressed yet. Or maybe she just wishes you'd consulted her on it first. Your life may be a lot easier if you deal with it now. O.K. - One last thought for when the so called experts are spouting off their advice. Try telling them this joke:What you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute ???i A fu*%#ing know-it-all
*Your experience is interesting. I am not in the trade, but self-employeed.But of all of my family and friends most of them have are self-employeed or small business owners of one type or another. And many of the others have something going on the side.So in my circle what you are doing would be natural.
*My theory (and it's only a theory), is that most people, unconciously, don't like to see someone get ahead. Now don't get me wrong...I think most people are well meaning...but whenever someone else gets ahead, particularly by taking risks and hard work, others don't like that. I think it stems not from general "dislike", but because, in some way, it points out to these people the things that they are afraid to do. Everyone wants to get ahead in one form or another. Most people buy lottery tickets or the like...and for that $1 (or whatever it is), they got the cheapest dream going in town. And of course, most people are let down until they buy that next one. And I'd also guess that most people generally don't like hard work; why work your a** off at one or two jobs to get ahead when most people don't do it, and when there's so many other things to do (like watch TV, drink, watch some more TV, etc.). It's the sheep mentality. Look how many people in the corporate world (where the wife works), do nothing but piss and moan all day long, but so few ever actually leave until forced out. Ever wonder? It's because the risk of going out and finding a new job, and the risk of perhaps finding it's not as good a job as the previous, and the risk of not being able to go back is so overwhelming. When I worked three jobs, everyone said the same; "you're wasting your time, your life sucks, blah, blah, blah." Now that I'm down to two, and even the second is on referral only...and the jobs, customers, and life keeps getting better (particularly now that I have my brand new baby), it all seems worthwhile. I'm finally on the right track, and now people want to jump on board--the same ones who were partying and slinging insults. So I'd take it with a grain of salt. I truly believe that if you THINK, PLAN, and WORK...you can be a success. And remember that five years from now, and try not to grin all the way to the bank when you're successful.A couple years ago, Sonny Lykos, who posts a lot of very sage wisdom on business dealings on this and the JLC forum, outlined a conversation he had with one of his contacts. I have, of course, changed it in my head over the years to fit my own responses to people. If I may paraphrase (and Sonny, please correct me if I'm wrong): "How dare you insult me because I'm trying to make something of myself, or whine because I make more money, or devalue me because I am finally becoming successful. While you were watching TV and drinking six-packs, I was studying business; while you were out driving around with your buddies on weekends, I was doing extra work. While you were lamenting and complaining about not having enough money, I was figuring out how to make more, and while you were thinking about today, I was building my, and my children's, future. Don't ever whine to me about the unfairness of it all, because we all started out in the same place and had the same conversations. I chose to do something about it, while you chose to fritter your life away on cheap booze, cheap TV, and cheap memories."Now, I realize that not everyone wants to make a business, get rich, and retire early, but I'll NEVER go to my deathbed whining that I spent the best parts of my year working for someone else, or that I didn't try. And that makes it all worth it, no matter what anyone says.My apologizes to Sonny, and I'll get off my soapbox now.
*pantango: That is a pet peeve of mine, someone being negative. I cant stand em. I try to only hang out with positive people. I never will forget my first curved stairway I was starting to build in my shop. I had more people comment, " This is your first?" How you going to build it if you never have done one? Stuff like that. I just ignored it , and if anything it was a catalyst to make me more determined. My dad always told me to never go to someone who has been bankrupt for financial advice----------Dont ask someone who has been divorced several times for marital adviceMost people are afraid to try something and thats why they never do anything.
*good post stan,hi pantango..don't let'em get ya down!Do what you like and always work to achieve better results. On negativity, I think of it as a necessity.And it needs to be well placed and used..like in battery terminals and un collected debts..ha ha!How to get around it when it comes to attitude?The ole mental picture of a duck and water..right off its back. How's that?Dan-O
*pantango,What do you do when everybody around you is so negative? Simple. Be positive. Bring that positive attitude in the forefront. It has a tendency to rub off on people. Hold your head up high, and be proud of what you are doing.And, come around here once in a while for advice in running your business, bidding jobs, etc... There is a VAST amount of knowledge here, and most of these guys love to help.I personally spent a couple of years EXACTLY where you are right now. My positive attitude overcame all the negativity around me. Now, almost every one of those negative people see me and my business in a positive way. They have become very supportive of the whole thing.Just a thought...James DuHamel
*No need to apologize Jason, and you're right.As I said to that guy (an employee at the time): "We all make choices." His kept him were he was, working for me (at a good buck), but still living from paycheck to paycheck because he pi**ed away his money, and as you stated, instead of self-teaching, watched TV & sucked on a 6-pack each nite.As long as I can remember, even as a young teenager, I stayed away from negative people. In fact, I "ran" away from them - still do.OK, taking chances to get ahead can/does have a negative side - those things that can go wrong or expectations that don't materialize. And sure, you might only have as low as a 50 -50 chance of making it at whatever you want to do or try. However, if you don't take a crack at it you are guaranteed to have a "100%" failure rate. Ignore that negatives and associate only with the "intelligent" positives. By "intelligent" they will at least advise you of potential down sides - that's smart advice for making you aware of those pitfalls. But those "intelligent" positive people only tell you of those things so they can help or at least advise you of how to prepare for them - even eliminate some of them. That's smart.As for wives - we all would be smart to remember that typical wives want "stability 1st in their lives. They are not prone to risking the family future on a whim. Glad they are like that because they make us, as Jason stated, THINK and PLAN, and planning, if we're smart, includes contingencies or Plan B and Plan c if "A" doesn't pan out.Now that I think about it, one of the other reasons why I like so many of my peers is that all of them are positive. Funny, many of us have different personalities, different "druthers" in trucks, education, up bringing, etc. but it's that sense of that positive, independent, screw you I'll do it just to prove I can, attitude creates is one hell of a powerful cohesive bond.I've said it before: There is no one willing to do what we do considering all of the adverse conditions in which we ply our trades and run our businesses.. DAMN! We're one hell of a special bunch of people.
*Pantango, I am in the 18th month of doing the same thing you are. I will quit my job in June. I am fortunate that my wife is behind me 110% all the time, even when I screw up. i jokingly say she would follow me down the barrel of a cannon. I am a lucky guy. The others are right though that it will be difficult without her support, if not impossible. I have not had to much negative feed back from family or friends. I suspect it is due to my nature and history of doing as I pleased when I pleased. They probably consider it a waste of breath. You do have to be a self starter though as when on your own no one is there to push you out the door. Good Luck. DanT
*sonny.... & jason.. & pantango... and all the ships at sea..here's to us, and those that think like us,and the rest of 'em can go to hell
*I love being self employed. It is a really great feeling being your own boss. I am having just the opposite response most of my friends wish they were running their own show.good luck and when its not fun go back to work for someone else.Derek
*Thanks guys for the advice. I talked to the wife a little bit last night. I told her in a nutshell, I'm going to give myself 5 years of doing this part time business and see where I'm at. If things are booming and it looks good down the line then I might consider doing it full time. She responded well to that. I would love to be able to quit my job and do this full time. And if I was 10 years younger I probably would have by now. You have to have a good starting place and I figured part time business, get a feel for it, do a little marketing and get the WOM out, see where it takes me. I might find out it's not for me. Worst case scenerio? At least I learned something and didn't waste my time watching TV and downing 6 packs. (of course, I have been watching a lot of TV lately)(winter sucks) Thanks again guys, I'll be checking the business forum everyday. A lot of good stuff I can use on this
*Hey pantango,Just reading the posts and I am at your decision after you give it a few years. I have a second job that pays really well and allows me large blocks of time off. I fill the blocks of time doing renovations and cabinets and the odd piece of furniture. Now, I have too much, or I should say, enough work on my off time to make a very successful go of it. My rates are going up and so are the requests....Delema..... leave my cushy stable first job that pays well and allows me to have the second business or try to work the dual life?My wife has a good job and we could go it that way for awile, but two little kids, need bigger house, need larger shop..... I think, like all the others, is to have a great positive outlook, talk to clients and suppliers with a "can do" attitude and that things are not impossible and it will start going for you.
*Brent, I didn't quit my full time job until I had at least 5-6 weeks of part time (about 20 hrs. per week) in advance. When I made the jump, every time I'd got down to about 1-2 weeks of work lined up I got really nervous. However, I never once ran out of work and the longer I worked at it full time, the more WOM kicked in and I ended up having 3-4 weeks of work constantly lined up.When I got to the point that it was constantly 4 plus weeks of work lined up was when I hired my first employee. The funny thing was that when I gave my 4 weeks notice as a retail store manager I told the owner that she (&3 brothers) was nuts working on Sat, Sun and some nites. I said I would only work about 45 hrs. per week. A few months later I went to see her, told her about all the hours I was putting in and we both had a good laugh about it and how naive I wasSure, owning a business has it's ups and downs, aggravation, the occasional jerk client and jerk employee and the problems they can create. Still I wouldn't change it on a bet!There is something about it, when appropriate, to be able to say to a "customer" - Stick it! and not get fired by a boss. Or if you just don't feel good one day - take off. And the occasional 3 day week ends when no holiday occurs are another of the "up" sides.Pantago, if you really take good care of your clients, don't be surprised if you have so much "continual" work lined up for weeks in advance, that that 5 years doens't come a lot sooner.You got forums to learn and eliminate many misstakes most of us did; we had no such help or learning tool when we started. So the school of hard knocks should only be a school of lite taps how and then, and the learning curve of the business aspect for you will be quicker and shorter.
*The best thing about being self employed is being able to take off when ever you feel like it.Unfortunately it is also the worst thing.I pray for the slow times. I also dread them.Having a business is like having a 900 lb. gorrilla for a child.The excitement is non stop.
*Tom, that's gotta be the best descrpition of self employment I've ever seen.
*Pantango, Napolen Hill studied the lives and habits of the the most successful people. He discovered that the #1 reason for failure was i listening to family, friends and relative!Don't buy into their negativism. Limit your exposure to them. YOu don't have to totally disengage yourself, but be wary when you're in their presence.Do your self a favor and get the i Rich Dad, Poor Dadseries of books by i Robert Kyosaki.blue
*Blue: Right on. I listened to friends and relatives for too long. If I had not started followed my gut feelings, I would still be wondering if I would have made it. I would much rather to have tried and failed than to always wonder "what if"
*PantangoLook around and see if you can find anyone who's sucessful that has a negative attitude. Stupid question I know. My point is, negative don't get it done. There's a great group of positive thinkers here. I'd bet that just like me they either avoid the nay sayers or go right over top of them, that's all you can do. Turn their negative into positive by using it to motivate yourself to do better.Remember this: You can be smarter, stronger and nicer but if you want to suceed all you need is the desire to keep getting up. How bad do you want it? No one can stop you, only you!People who say it can't be done should stay out of the way of the man who's doing it.Terry
*Terry: That reminds me of one of the strongest motivators----someone saying it cant be done. I remember when I had just started learning trim carpentry, my foreman was in charge of an 18 foot diameter house addition. It was to have horizontal cedar siding. My foreman was lost as to how to do it. One of the contractors next door came over, and my foreman was talking about it. This other guy said it couldn't be done. I never will forget my foremans determination after that statement. By god, he was going to find a way. I never will forget what a difference that made in his attitude. What a catalyst! The siding was put on.
*I think negativism is anathema to contractors because all we do for a living is solve problems: problems of our clients and those created by potential solutions. Negativism is simply contrary to the "natural" way our minds work. A positive attitude MUST reign or we simply cannot operate!So it's only natural for us to poo-poo someone who says it can't be done. In that respect, we are like scientists who, when presented with a problem or challenge, assess the situation, draw upon our experience, research when needed, and after placing all of that into the "bowl" of our minds to organize and prioritize that IT, some way, always succeed in devising a solution, either thru creativity, innovation or both. Determination is the foundation and impetus from which go foreward. Can't be done, eh? Move aside and I'll show you otherwise.We proved it with the Egyptian pyramids and even before them.Yes, scientific innovators of the first degree are we, and among ourselves, in the best of company.
*Here Here And a hat tip to S.Lykes!
*Hey Pantango, Good for you. Those who won't take the risks won't reap the reward. I started my business at the age of 24 after working in some phase of construction since I was 9. My family owned a large concrete company and did quite well. I started my business with a $3000.00 loan from my grandparents. The entire family said I was nuts.It's now 8 years later and I make more money on my own than anybody I know on a 2 person income. I love what I do, I have that sense of PRIDE, and I can go around the state, as well as the country and show people the jobs I have done. What an INCREDIBLE feeling. I have worked on projects featured in 3 magazines, and have seen a couple projects in books and papers. My accountant says " you are my only client who has doubled your income every year". Just an added bonus!