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Cleanliness is next to godliness
make hay while the sun shines
god willing and the river dont rise
An once of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
The first time shame on you the 2nd time shame on me.
two peas inna pod
sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite
Learn more about the pros and cons of single-room ERVs.
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Replies
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Can't fertilize the field by fartin' through the fence.
It's not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it's whether or not you get back up.
If you're gonna hoot with the owls at night, ya better learn how to soar with the eagles in the mornin'.
Measure twice, cut once.
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
*If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.A wink's as good as a nod to a blindman.A foolish man builds his house upon the sand.The more things change, the more they stay the same.Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten.
*Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.
*I know nothing....and less every day.Rich Beckman
*if you're gonna dance, ya gotta pay the pipershit or get off the potwhat the fu*#, over?I don' give a flying rats assand the band played on....
*Lack of planning on your part does not mean an emergency on my part. If cows could fly, they'd have wings. Well done is better than well said. Failures are divided into two classes: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought
*If you cant run with the big dogs, stay on the porchLead, follow, or get the hell out of the wayDont let your mouth write a check that your ass cant cash
*Fail to prepare, prepare to fail
*YES! GO DIAMONDBACKS!! (This is highly unpopular to for me to think this way considering I am in NJ/NY) GO DIAMONDBACKS! Randy Johnson and Curt Shilling rock!
*Common sense isn't.Dull women have immaculate homes.Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
*A bird in the hand..can be messy.A clean house is the sign of a broken computer!A day without sunshine is..night.At a nudist wedding,everyone can see who the best man is.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.Don't go to a doctor whose office plants have died.Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.Grow your own dope-plant a man.He who laughs last thinks slowest.I have kleptomania. Whenever it gets bad, I take something for it.It's better to have loved and lost than to be stuck with a jerk.The perfect gift for a person who has everything is a burglar alarm.
*if your not lead dog the view never changesyou get what you pay for.same shit different dayif you dont have the time to doit right what makes you think I have the time to fix it!
*rust never sleepsmy brain hurts
*Porch light's on, but nobody's home...Life is like a sh*t sandwich... the more bread ya got, the less sh*t you eat...James
*...his needle's down, but his record don't turn......people in glasshouses shouldn't throw parties.....when the going gets tough...it's Miller time.....sincerity is the key to success, when you can fake that ,you've got it made.....when everythng's coming your way...you're in the wrong lane...
*Alright, settle down...
*Hey Mike. Shouldn't you be like, um, working?
*He/she's such a bad carpenter/mechanic, he couldn't fix a sandwich.Not the sharpest tool in the shed.Dumber than a bag full of hammers.Plan to be spontaneous.It takes two to tango.May the sun be on your face, the wind at your back, and may you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows yer dead.More balls than brains.Fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.More chins than a Chinese phone book.Yeah! When monkeys fly outta my butt!
*Yes, dear. Sorry, dear. (head down, walking back into the shop....)
*Grr...I hate that!
*I might be dumb, but I ain't plumb dumb.......
*I may have been born yesterday but I didn't stay in all night!
*Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff...
*i am trying to see things from your point of view, but i am having trouble getting my head that far up my a#%.
*LOL.......james
*If you let the little things bother you,The big ones will kill you.Perty is as perty does.
*Oh, let's not get this started........
*No matter where ya go, there ya are...James DuHamel
*The more you sweat in peace the less you bleed in war.
*He's one mc nugget short of a happy mealhe's one fry short of being super sized.he's got his cracker in the wrong box
*and....he's a half-bubble off plumb....coupla ducks short of a pond....few sandwiches shy of a picnic.
*...... dumb as dirt...It's nice to be nice to the nice.
*he don't have all his groceries in one bag,his/her (equal time) driveway doesn't go all the way to the house ....
*If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough.
*I haven't talked to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
*Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.There is a fine line between being a wit and a twit.We'll muddle through somehow.And the beatings will continue until the morale improves.Mary
*He's got a face like a bastard ratShe's uglier than a sack of a**holes
*A couple nickels short of a roll.-- J.S.
*Put your right hand on your right ear, put your left hand on your left ear, get a good firm grasp with both hands and see if you can pull your head out of your ass!
*If I knew what I was doing I'd have someone else do it
*What happened to you boy! you look like 2 miles of bad road.
*Asshole for every toilet seat(from my plumber)
*More horse's asses than horses
*It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
*Didn't anyone else notice that the fifth saying in Ron Teti's original post is backward? It should be "The first time shame on me, the second time shame on you." (or, "Fooled you once, shame on me, fooled you twice, shame on you.")"Too many chiefs, not enough braves.""He/she's got a voice that could clean an oven."
*opinions are like armpits, everyone's got a couple and most of em stink.Dumb Like Stick, Smart like Post.Too many Chef's and not enough SoupThe Hurrier I go the Behinder I get.A stopped watch is right twice a day.
*I learned it like Ron posted it, meaning the first time you cheat me, shame on you, but the second time you cheat me, shame on me for letting you do it when I knew better.
*Some of the chimps learn faster than others,Some of the chimps never learn at all!
*Don't write checks your ass can't cash.Hurry up and wait.Quit your cryin son or I'll give ya something to cry about.Maybe you better see the Doc, you might have an allergy to work.
*He, He, Ted LaRue reminded me: "he/she would make a train take a dirt road", or "clear as mud" and, "the fun meter is pegged".
*If it's got tits or tires, you're bound to have trouble with it.
*more fun then eating wormsBeats a sharp stick in the eyeHaven't had so much fun since the hogs ate my little brother
*I haven't had this much fun since I found out what that middle bar on a bicycle does to a guy.
*If it smells like fish, eat all you wish; If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
*If it smells like something you can't telltake it to a motel
*He's as useless as a screen door on a submarineIt's a soup sandwichGotta shit so bad I can taste itI'm prairie dooginTouchin' cottonFootball bat (something's fucked up)
*I don't need the money I just do this for the aggravation.
*The last part of American spells, I Can
*The defecation has impacted the rotary oscillator.
*The sooner you get behind, the more time you have left to catch up..She was good from afar, but far from good.
*No matter where ya go, there ya are... ...and whenever you drive, take the car.
*If you took everything _______ knows about _______, rammed it up a gnat's ass and enlarged it ten-thousand times, it would rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.Uglier than a mud fence.Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.Blind in one eye and can't see out of the other.(and my dad's favorite line).....You'd be a good-looking kid except for one thing.... you're ugly!
*Lisa, Oops.....I see it now.I guess he didn't actually say who was fooling whom, and I just interpreted it the wrong way. Guess I'm dumb as a post, or at least I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed...
*It's like nailing jello to the wall.This is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.Nothing beats a trial but a failure.The age old "Penny wise and pound foolish..."
*Neither one - just marching to a different drummer....
*Its always darkest just before it goes totally black...Never take in a stray, pregnant dog.Managing ___________ is just like herding cats.Politicians, like diapers, need to be changed often; and for the same reasons.
*Tara: I grew up in Bergen County, 18 miles from Times Square. It is perfectly respectable there to consider the NY Yankees as the spawn of Satan (on a good day!)
*And it all goes to show:i Ya never know 'til ya find out.
*what goes around comes aroundit aient over till the fat lady singsleopards dont change their spotswhat you see is what you gethes dumber than a bag of a---holeshe cant hit himself in the a-- with both handshes dumber than a box of rocksWell Im sh--ing in high cotton now
*She's a "butter face" - everything about her looks good, but her face. The corollary - beauty is only a light switch away.Perfect face for Halloween.If brains were gas, he wouldn't have enough to drive a small car around the inside of a Cheerio.Goalie for the dart team.All foam, no beer.Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.God might use him for miracle practice. (or, proof God has a sense of humor.)Any slower, she'd be in reverse.Room temp. IQ - in Celsius.
*he's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
*Yogi Bera:Nobody goes to ball games anymore, cuz they're too crowded.
*Don't let yer bangle dangle.Don't let yer tool rust.The word for today is...LEGS.Now go spread the word.
*There are two types of people in this world. Those who think there are two types of people, and those who don't.
*There are two types of biker:Those that have been down, and those that are gonna go down.
*187 pounds of useless....
*The bread's getting stale and the butter is melted.(when you're running out of work)
*If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs.-- J.S.
*In response to How are you, how you doin' etcI'm on the right side of the grass.
*Heard on the job today: "I'm not afraid of work -- I can watch it all day long."-- J.S.
*Number than a hake.Like a monkey f*%#ing a football.They oughta tack that guys balls to a stump and push him over backwardsEver been bedridden? No but I did it on a lobster boat once.Going like a raped ape
*Ugly enough to: make a freight train take a dirt road. knock a buzzard off a post.
*Corollary:His head is so far up his a#%, he thinks he is standing up straight!(A common condition in the world of business)did
*I've got to:evict a family of bearsgive birth to a little brown babysend a gift to the sanitation departmentfeed some fliessee what I had for dinner yesterdaybomb Atlantisdrop plopsetc.
*Good enough for Government workGood enough for who it's forShe/he is a two bagger.
*Leggo my ears, I know my job
*just other ways of saying..."I've gotta go drop the kids off at the pool."
*Gotta go whip up a batch of baby batter...
*Seen on a local carpenter's door:"real men don't need instructions"and this on the bulletin board nearby:"Pro Create"
*His elevator doesnt go all the way upCheese has slipped off his crackerLights on, no one home.If brains were dynamite you wouldnt have enough to blow your noseugly has hat full of s#&tthat car runs like a bag of busted ar#eholes
*...Sure as Shit in a cat......Sorry Andy, everyday expression here......On the Cape......Cape Breton That Is......Newf......So, There's a Mag????...
*Man is born with two heads, but only enough blood to use one at a time.
*Money talks ,bullshit walks....When the green flag drops the bullshit stops...
*busy as a bee with a bum full of honey
*prior planning prevents piss poor performance
*SNAFU- Situation Normal, All Fu*#@d Up
*FUBARF#$%ed Up Beyond All Recognition
*WYSIWYG (wissie wig)
*He couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a bull's a$$ if he was standin' inside.I wanna go play with the box the babies came in.He's not the brightest cayon in the box.Crooked as a dogs hind leg.I like my coffee black as sin and hotter than the hinges of hell.Trust your neighbors but brand your calves.
*Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.
*DILLIGAFDo I Look Like I Give A F**k?
*you gotta keep an eye on your enemies & a gun on your friends
*BOHICA = Bend Over Here It Comes Again.If my dog was as ugly as you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards.I may be drunk, but you are ugly and I will be sober in the morning.I am not fat, I am short for my weight.But occifer, I am not as think as you drunk I am.
*"He was as tough as henshit, and twice as nasty"
*Stiff as a weddin' dick ....hotter'n a freshfuckedfox ina forest fire..."Igotta be on the level my bubble is in the middle"as told by short fat man.
*Like shotting Pool with a rope!
*Busier than a three legged dog trying to bury a turd on a frozen lake.
*ROFLMAO!!
*Is my face red? Well It aint up my a##se!Are your eyes painted on?Did you find it? Well, did ya have a mans look or a womans look? Not the sharpest knife in the drawerI didnt go to school just to eat my lunch ya know....
*Stinks like a monkey's wedding.Like pullin' a prick out of a lard pail.
*I may have been born yesterday, but I didn't stay in all night.I may have fallen of a turnip truck but it wasn't the one that just drove by.Those aren't Carpenter ants Ma'am they aint wearin' tool belts, Looks like Boss ants, they wont touch your lumber but they'll sure go after your checkbook!
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Cleanliness is next to godliness
make hay while the sun shines
god willing and the river dont rise
An once of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
The first time shame on you the 2nd time shame on me.
two peas inna pod
sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite