I’m a rookie who needs some advice about insulating ceilings.

I’m working on remodeling our kitchen, dining and living rooms- complete redo.  We took out the old, damaged plaster and lath that was there and are going to replace with new sheetrock and add recessed lights.  Ceiling height is 9′ in all rooms.  Joists in ceiling are timber 3×8’s, 20″ o.c. Kitchen is about 280 s/f, dining is 250, and living rm is 350.

We are also having a new FHA heating system put in with 2 zones; 1 upstairs, 1 down.  House is 3000 S/F total, 1500 up/down.  Our two kids’ bedrooms are above the dining & living rm on sec fl.  They’re young (and quiet) now, but I know its only a matter of time and things will get louder…

My plan for the ceiling was to install R19 f/g batts and then go over with 5/8 sheetrock.  My goals are two-fold: try to add a buffer for noise between floors and slow the heat loss from the 1st fl.  Recently I read that f/g batts don’t do much to help control noise between floors and that 2 sheets of 1/2 rock would do a better job.  So now I’m questioning my original plan.

Would moving to R30 make a noticeable difference from the R19?  Insulation AND 2 sheets of rock?   Anyone out there got some advice on this kind of situation and how to best proceed to meet goals? 

PS- Should I add a layer of polyfilm between the insulation and the rock?  Basement is dry.