Replies

1. 
   davidmeiland | Dec 08, 2008 05:07am | #1

   Presumably you will leave a part of your estate to each child. Let them argue about when to sell the house.

2. 
   CJM | Dec 08, 2008 05:37am | #2

   Copied from the internets:

   "If you’re unsure whether an immediate family member has the ability to serve as executor of your estate, you can set up dual or co-executors.For example, name one executor for your business and another for your personal affairs. Designate a professional to assist your executor, or have a bank serve as your executor.

   Your attorney, investment manager, tax advisor or the professional who helped create your estate plan can provide executor support. You also can designate a bank serving as your executor to work with the professional of your choice for guidance.

   Why select professionals to assist your executor or serve as executor? They can bring independence, impartiality, lack of emotional bias, knowledge of your financial affairs, and general expertise in handling estates and trusts.

   A family member who serves as executor will often waive any executor fee, but expect a professional to charge an hourly rate, which the estate pays."

3. 
   danusan10 | Dec 08, 2008 05:53am | #3

   look into putting into trust, you can control it from your grave

1. 
   MissD | Dec 08, 2008 06:48am | #4

   My husband and I had a Family Trust, wills, legal powers of attorney and Medical Directives.  We had them prepared because he had a terminal illness and  thinking we could use it to file for Medicaid in the future.  He didn't live long enough for us qualify.  No family business involved.   When he died, as I was his widow, I didn't have to file any documentation, the lawyer had to notify the county of his death, did so with a small fee.  No legalities after that. 

   I did have all the legal documentation redone only for me.  Both sons inherit 1/2 of the small estate.  They also have the medical powers of attorney and legal powers of attorney.  One son lives closer to me then the other.  The closer son is the primary on the papers.

   It is a difficult and emotional decision who you should name to be in charge of your affairs after you have left this earth.  I didn't realize this until hubby and I had to sign the papers.  We both had tears in our eyes. 

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

4. 
   bakerdog | Dec 08, 2008 08:12pm | #5

   one possibility is to give your liquid assets to the local son and the house to the frugal one and let the frugal one be the pr.  you might need to borrow against the house to equalize the estate.  that way the local one gets his money without having to wait for frugal son to sell the house. 

    

    

5. 
   robert | Dec 10, 2008 05:43am | #6

   My wife and I are exuctors of her aunts estate. Along with her brother.

   She felt that if all three of us agreed? Then it had to be Ok.

   There was pressure to just liquidate and pay out (10 equal shares to brotheres, sisters and the church).

   It's not been easy holding out and doing the right thing.

   Make them both do it. If their personalities are that different? The one without a say will always fweel he got screwed.

   Name them both and leave very specific instructions.

6. 
   SquarePeg | Dec 10, 2008 08:41pm | #7

   Put everything in a trust and appoint the frugal kid as financial executor. Give the local adult child medical power of attorney (if they are tough as nails and willing to do what you want, take money out of it and take advantage of the fact that they are local)