Replies

1. 
   McDesign | Mar 15, 2009 08:13pm | #1

   Buddy at work lost half his right index finger.  He does that "look, I've pulled the end of my finger off" thing where you hold your other thumb and pretend to pull it off.  Little kids think it's a neat trick; older kids say, "awww, i know how you do that . . ."  then he says, "nuh-uh! and waves the missing finger at them and they run screaming.

   Pretty darn funny.

    

   Forrest

1. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 12:10am | #2

   Yeah, a guy in a coffee shop did that trick (the regular one) to my daughter -- she was about 5 at the time.I acted astounded, and said, "Wait, how'd you do that?" The I tried it myself, and gasped as my left index stump came into view.The guy threw up his hands, and said, "You win, you win!"AitchKay

2. 
   ponytl | Mar 16, 2009 01:58am | #8

   in JR high school i was run'n a board through the joiner and the shop teacher flipped all the power to all the equipment (time to clean up)  cept i had a board in the joiner that shot back with my hand going into the spinning knife... lost the end of my left index finger just below the nail... and the tip of my middle finger (which you can't tell)

   had a doctor friend who offered to tattoo a nail back on my short finger so it would look ok...  i never did it...

   when kids ask about it i tell them when i was a kid i was watching a scary movie started bite'n my nails and before i knew it... i'd eaten my finger... they all want to know ... what movie it was...

   and here you thought i was flawless :)

   P :)

1. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 03:09am | #11

   Kids love 'em, don't they? Especially the boys! My son's friends always wanted to see me stick my finger up my nose, apparently right into my brain.They'd say, "Wow, you have the coolest Dad!"Boys are so easy.AitchKay

2. 
   dovetail97128 | Mar 16, 2009 07:10am | #17

   ""...and the shop teacher flipped all the power to all the equipment (time to clean up) cept i had a board in the joiner that shot back with my hand going into the spinning knife..."" Man I hope to hell someone paid for that teachers mistake! I have some sympathy for guys who did themselves in by being careless, but when someone else is responsible it makes it a whole lot different.
   They can't get your Goat if you don't tell them where it is hidden.

1. 
   ponytl | Mar 17, 2009 02:21am | #19

   teacher was an old retired navy guy...  nice guy...  stupid... but not like he ment to cause harm...  pretty sure thats why there are no wood shops in our school system now... everyone would be sue'n everyone...  in that same shop earlier in the year i retored an old 20ga mossberg bolt action shotgun... no one thought anything about be have'n a shotgun at school...

   it was a different time...  a better time

   p

1. 
   silvertip | Mar 17, 2009 02:42am | #21

   I chopped my right index finger off at the first joint, not in carpentry though.  For chits and giggles I was in a restaurant waiting for supper for a long time.  So I put ketchup on the corner of my lip and on my finger and started to chew on ice cubes and had my lips around my finger and told the waitress i was damn hungry and showed her my shortened finger.  Needless to say she had no sense of humor.

2. 
   AitchKay | Mar 17, 2009 02:49am | #22

   I took the end of a hotdog bun and wrapped it around my stump, added a little mustard and a couple of pieces of diced onion, and offered "the last bite" to a friend.She had her mouth open wide for one second, and then nearly barfed when she realized what was going on.That's what I like about guys. Such a great sense of humor!AitchKay

2. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 12:14am | #3

   I found a doll once with an arm about the right diameter, and lopped it off. I attached it with a finger cot -- one of those little condom-like thingies -- with the end snipped off.

   It was great -- the right color and length, but my left index finger had 5 fingers of its own. Used to wear it out on the town back in my bar-hoppin' days.

   AitchKay

1. 
   McDesign | Mar 16, 2009 01:33am | #5

   Aaron was clipping his nails in his cube once, and said, "you know, I spend 10% less time doing this than you guys do".

    

   Forrest

1. 
   Huck | Mar 16, 2009 01:52am | #6

   Aaron was clipping his nails in his cube once

   Often wondered what went on in them thangs..."...craftsmanship is first & foremost an expression of the human spirit." - P. Korn

   bakersfieldremodel.com

2. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 01:56am | #7

   Yep, I've used that line, too!AitchKay

3. 
   stevent1 | Mar 16, 2009 03:48am | #13

   A former shop manager of mine had a run in with a miter saw before working for me.

   Said it was his last cut of the day.

    

   Chuck Slive, work, build, ...better with wood

1. 
   McDesign | Mar 16, 2009 04:03am | #14

   Well, yeah, who's gonna' continue to work?

    

   Forrest

1. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 02:28pm | #18

   That's right, it was MY last cut, too.Although I have a friend who took the time to clean up the jointer before he headed off to the hospital -- it wasn't his shop.AitchKay

3. 
   AitchKay | Mar 16, 2009 12:21am | #4

   Lot's of great jokes, too -- about two days after I cut it off, a guy on my softball team said, "Hey, Man, gimme 4 1/2!"

   And up here in Michigan, we hold up one hand, and use it as a map when we talk about different parts of the state.

   So of course I ask people, "Hey, did you hear the bad news about Oscoda?" Then, after a pause, I show 'em my map, and say, "Miami's doin' fine, though!"

   AitchKay

4. 
   GregGibson | Mar 16, 2009 02:00am | #9

   Robert Heinlein had a character in one of his books, written in the '50's, that had a prosthetic hand that had interchangeable tools.

   I think it was "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" There are several Heinlein fans here, Andy Engel or someone will correct me. This guy had a drill-driver attachment, an impact wrench attachment, the whole works. What a fine idea !

   Heinlein was a great visionary. These multi-jet showers we have today, he imagined in the 1950's. His version included an option for drying you off, too.

   Greg

1. 
   oberon476 | Mar 16, 2009 02:56am | #10

   That would be Manuel Garcia "Mannie" O'Kelly-Davis.

   And that is from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

    

   Edited 3/15/2009 7:57 pm ET by Oberon

1. 
   Dinosaur | Mar 16, 2009 05:49am | #16

   Manny had a whole kit-bag full of prosthetic arms.

   I was not gung-ho computerman; higher maths are beyond me. Not really electronics engineer, nor physicist. May not have been best micromachinist in Luna and certainly wasn't cybernetics psychologist.

   But I knew more about all these than a specialist knows--I'm a general specialist. Could relieve a cook and keep orders coming or field-repair your suit and get you back to airlock still breathing. Machines like me and I have something specialists don't have: my left arm.

   You see, from elbow down I don't have one. So I have a dozen left arms, each specialized, plus one that feels and looks like flesh. With proper left arm (number three) and stereo loupe spectacles I could make ultramicrominiature repairs that would save unhooking something and sending it Earthside to factory--for number-three has micromanipulators as fine as those used by neurosurgeons....

    

   Dinosaur

   How now, Mighty Sauron, that thou art not broughtlow by this? For thine evil pales before that whichfoolish men call Justice....

1. 
   oberon476 | Mar 17, 2009 02:40am | #20

   One of my favorite books of all time!

   A classic!

    

1. 
   Dinosaur | Mar 17, 2009 03:18am | #23

   Mine, too. Getting my old paperback copy out last night to make that post got me started re-reading it again....

   Dinosaur

   How now, Mighty Sauron, that thou art not broughtlow by this? For thine evil pales before that whichfoolish men call Justice....

5. 
   drapson | Mar 16, 2009 03:37am | #12

   Many farmers up here with lost digits. Had one shake my hand once with about 2 and parts left. I told him he could count in fractions!

   He about broke up!!

   He also bought my coffee...

   dan

1. 
   Stash | Mar 16, 2009 04:13am | #15

   I met an old school fireworks guy like that once, shook hands. Couldn't help but think of the old Get Smart routineThe Claw: "I am the craw."Max: "99- this is the Craw"The Claw- "No, not the Craw, the Craw"Steve